12 Ways to Have More Confident Body Language
By Arlin Cuncic, MA
January 16, 2024
Even if you don’t feel confident, practicing confident body language can increase your self-esteem and help you feel better about yourself. Examples of confident body language include maintaining eye contact, standing up straight, not fidgeting, and mirroring other people’s movements.
People with social anxiety disorder (SAD) and other mental health conditions often have trouble feeling confident interacting with others. However, anyone can boost their confidence by ensuring their body language conveys a positive message.
Practice these gestures and movements to project an air of confidence. As you practice, you will find that practicing confident body language can help you feel more confident in social situations.
1- Make Eye Contact
Appear confident by maintaining eye contact in social interactions. Good eye contact shows others that you are interested and comfortable.
Look the other person in the eye about 60% of the time. If direct eye contact feels too intimidating, start by looking at a spot close to the person’s eyes.
2- Keep Your Chin Up
Do you look at the ground when you are walking? Is your head always down when you are talking? Instead, walk with your head up and your eyes looking forward. Keeping your head up and facing your conversation partner conveys interest, confidence, and other prosocial emotions.
It might feel unnatural initially, but you will eventually become used to this more confident pose. Then you can use it when standing and speaking (it will make eye contact easier, too).
3- Lean Forward
When you are in a conversation, leaning forward indicates interest and attention. While it can be tempting to maintain distance if you are socially anxious, doing so conveys that you are disinterested or aloof.
Research suggests that nonverbal signals such as leaning forward and facing straight ahead help convey feelings of interest.
4- Avoid Your Pockets
Though it can be tempting to shove your hands in your pockets, particularly if you are worried about them shaking, doing so makes you look more anxious and less confident. Keep your hands out of your pockets to look more self-assured.
5- Stand Up Straight
Don’t slouch! If you struggle with anxiety or a lack of confidence, you might try to take up as little space as possible, which can mean sitting slumped over in a protective pose.
To convey confident body language, straighten your back, pull your shoulders away from your ears, and uncross your arms and legs.
6- Don’t Fidget
Fidgeting is an obvious sign of anxiety and nervousness. Others often interpret fidgeting as a sign of stress and anxiety, which can cause you to seem less confident and authoritative.
Appear more confident by keeping fidgeting to a minimum. Nervous movements, like bouncing your knee or tapping your fingers on a table, draw attention away from what you are saying and make it hard for others to focus on your message.
7- Slow Your Movements
Fast movements make you appear more anxious. Everything from hand gestures to your walking stride can make a difference; slow down and notice how you feel more confident when you take your time.
The key, however, is to maintain other signals like eye gaze and posture while moving more slowly. Slow movements combined with poor eye contact and slouched posture can indicate sadness, which may cause people to see you as less confident than you are.
8- Take Larger Steps
As you slow down, try to take longer strides when you walk. Confident people take larger steps and walk with authority. Doing so will make you feel less anxious.
9- Watch Your Hands
Be careful about touching your face or neck; both indicate that you feel anxious, nervous, or afraid. In general, confident people don’t tend to make these types of movements. However, making a steeple with your hands or holding your palms out can imply confidence.
10- Give a Firm Handshake
A weak or limp handshake is a sign of a lack of confidence, so work on making sure that you offer a firm hand when meeting others. After practice, it will come naturally.
Prolonged handshakes lasting longer than three seconds are associated with less enjoyment of the interaction, more anxiety, and behavioral freezing.
11- Mirror the Body Language of Others
Mirroring, also known as the chameleon effect, is a tendency to mimic other people’s movements, either subconsciously or consciously. It can have a positive effect on social interactions. It causes other people to notice you and feel more positively about you.
Mirroring another person’s body language shows you are paying attention to them, which can build understanding and strengthen a relationship. When you feel that bond, you may feel more comfortable and confident.
12- Speak Slowly and Clearly
Feeling nervous can often lead to rushing through our talking points and comments to end a conversation sooner. But speaking quickly can make your nervousness and self-consciousness evident.
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