Parenting My Teen, Practicing Mindfulness, and Breaking Up With My Phone

My intentions for this year.

By Andrew Eubanks

February 15, 2025

The start of a new year always feels like a time to reflect on what I could do differently and improve upon from the previous year. It is a chance to reevaluate habits, relationships, and priorities. This year, I’ve set my sights on three goals: being more present for my 14-year-old daughter, embracing mindfulness, and finally breaking up with my phone.

Parenting a Teen in the Digital Age

Parenting a teenager is like walking a tightrope. My daughter is at that pivotal stage where she’s seeking independence but still needs guidance, even though she prefers the former to the latter. The challenge I am finding is working to strike the right balance between giving her space and still being a part of her life. Finding this balance has certainly proven difficult to achieve. I’ve realized that my habits, particularly with my phone, play a huge role in my ability to connect with her.

When constantly checking emails, sports scores, or scrolling through social media, I’m sending an unspoken message: I am only giving you part of my attention. A study from the University of California states that parents’ phone use in front of their children can harm the development of emotional intelligence. The research suggests when parents are focused on their smartphones, they may exhibit a “still face,” appearing unresponsive to their children. This lack of engagement can hinder a child’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage their emotions, as they rely on parental cues for emotional development. I am guilty of trying to multitask a conversation with my daughter while staring at my phone.  I want to do things differently this year and break habits like this.  So, my first step toward being a better parent this year is to model the behavior I hope she’ll adopt—being mindful of the present moment and healthier screen habits.

Practicing Mindfulness Together

Mindfulness is more than meditation or yoga; it’s about being fully present in the moment. My daughter and I are starting a simple ritual: a check-in at the end of each day. No phones, no distractions—just us, sharing our highs, lows, and whatever’s on our minds. Keeping up with this ritual is not always easy to accomplish. My daughter is a social butterfly, and as a 14-year-old, friends often take precedence over parents. She has activities and time with friends that disrupt our daily check-in. However, this makes it more important and meaningful to hold fast to our ritual when possible.

I know time with my daughter is fleeting. My wife is quick to remind us of the number of Christmases or Spring Breaks we have together before our daughter heads off to college. Rather than dwell on how we could have taken more advantage of our time together in the past or worry about how little time we have in the future, we should concentrate on the present. Thich Nhat Hanh’s book The Miracle of Mindfulness emphasizes the importance of being present, even during the most mundane tasks, such as washing the dishes. Throughout this year, I want to continually be present when my daughter and I discuss our day. Most days, we do not have an engaging or crazy story to share. Be that as it may, being attentive to one another is important, even when conversing about a typical day at school. These moments, no matter if they are routine, washing the dishes type moments, are a chance to be present with one another and to create a connection. They are a safe space where she can talk freely, and I can listen without attempting to use my phone to multitask. The result? A deeper bond and enjoyable moments together. They are a chance to see my daughter as the beautiful person she is.

Breaking Up with My Phone

My phone is like my angst-ridden cat in the morning; it’s always there, demanding attention. So, I’m taking a hard look at my relationship with it and setting some boundaries for this year. Here’s my plan:

No Phones at the Dinner Table: Family meals are a sacred time for connection.

Screen-Free Evenings: After 8 p.m., my phone goes into “Do Not Disturb” mode.

Mindful Morning Routine: Instead of reaching for my phone first thing, I start the day with journaling or a quick walk.

What’s surprising is how quickly these small changes add up. Without my phone constantly in hand, I’m more available—not just for my daughter or wife but also for myself. For any parent or person who may be considering limiting their screen time, these steps can help.

Final Thoughts

This year isn’t about perfection; it’s about perseverance. It is not easy to break up with our phones.  Quitting our bad habits is never a simple endeavor, but the outcomes are worth it. Despite the difficulty, I am going to do my best to be committed to being more mindful, unplugging from distractions, and prioritizing my relationship with my daughter; I’m creating a space for what truly matters. In the short time I have changed my relationship with my phone, the results are undeniable: more laughter, a more loving connection, and a better understanding of who my daughter is and wants to become. So, if you have ever felt your screen time is keeping you from things that matter, challenge yourself with no phones at dinner or put away your phone in the evenings.  You might be surprised at what happens.

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